


the best selling show

by XioNin



Series: Starman: Sander's Song [1]
Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, s3 ep2, sander pov, we didn't have a last name at this point, what little we know of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 06:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21231425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XioNin/pseuds/XioNin
Summary: Sander had been managing alright. Things weren't good or bad, they just were. Britt tolerated him. Maybe even liked him sometimes. They could pretend.Then he came face to face with his fantasy and Robbe was even softer than he'd imagined. He wanted to sink into it, the softness. He wanted desperately to be remade. To see himself reflected in the eyes of someone who didn't know his mistakes. His failures. Too late for that now.





	the best selling show

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know. We don't even know who Sander is yet. BUT... I've already formed a protection squad. Who's with me?
> 
> I'll start with this, whatever it is. We'll see if I continue or let it be. I hope Sander speaks to me. (I think he will.)  
Might delete later.
> 
> You can find me on **[Tumblr](https://xionin.tumblr.com/)**  
There's also a Spotify a playlist: **[Click Here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7IooNHSRGtEeQ3RjeRQwcn?si=q1l2SYTDTVi8eQRl7lIjGA%22)**

Sander had been managing alright. Things weren't good or bad, they just were. Britt tolerated him. Maybe even liked him sometimes. They could pretend.  
Then he came face to face with his fantasy and Robbe was even softer than he'd imagined. He'd wanted to sink into it, the softness. He'd wanted desperately to be remade. To see himself reflected in the eyes of someone who didn't know his mistakes. His failures. Too late for that now.

Despite the heat from the fire, despite Britt sitting on his lap, all soft curves and bright laughter, Sander was freezing. He could feel Robbe's eyes on him and he didn't want to see what might lie behind them now. Didn't want to hear the unspoken question. _What's wrong with you?_

Sander wished he could go back in time a bit, just a few days, back to the grocery store when he had finally made a connection to the guy he'd been low key stalking for a month.

Robbe seemed just as out of phase with the rest of the world as Sander felt, though in an entirely different way. In a way that people didn't notice, didn't point out, didn't laugh at, or scream about or cry over. Not like Sander.

He lifted the can in his hand to his lips but the beer was gone. Dare he go for another one?

After the paintball debacle, Britt had lectured him endlessly after her cold shoulder had thawed. Sander knew how to charm her, knew what she liked to hear from him. _Sorry, and you're right, and thank you for putting up with me._ He'd fucked up, though. He could have really hurt her.

It was just...

In the store, in the kitchen - with Robbe - Sander felt like he could breathe for the first time in a long time. He was unburdened, free. And Robbe was so fucking _attentive_, hanging on every word. Every look. It was addictive. Could become addictive, if Sander let it.

Thing was, he wanted to let it.

But there was Britt. And he'd let his frustration get the better of him and put her in danger. The things she'd said to him... It was nothing Sander hadn't heard before, but Robbe had been there. Right there. Watching and hearing every fucking word. Sander had felt so small.

"I think we won."

Sander had practically run away after his lame attempt to brush it off. He'd been unable to meet Robbe's eyes since.

It was for the best, he told himself. He knew the dangers of giving into urges, of following instincts - all the things he'd been told not to trust about himself.

And Robbe had Noor, who seemed cool and fun.

And he had Britt, who had seemed cool and fun and still was, when she wasn't smothering him with her expectation and her embarrassment of him. She wanted him to have fun but not too much fun. Stand out but fit in. Be brash, but quietly.

Sander swallowed hard. He wanted another beer so badly but he knew what her response would be. Even if Britt didn't utter a word, her eyes would say it all. Loud and clear. So, he pulled her tighter, let her kisses and her mindless chatter wash over him for a while, and tried not to give in to the urge to look just past her shoulder.

Of course, he failed in that too.

Robbe seemed happy.

Sander knew how to pretend to be. After all, fantasies aren't meant for the real world.


End file.
